


Behold What Does Not Exist

by Tea_is_Not_Them



Series: He Never Existed Saga [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Could be continued as well, Gen, Identity Issues, Jon is the Beholding, Kind of Unreality, Not all angst, Sort Of, The Beholding Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives), but not really, sasha james is competent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29781549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_is_Not_Them/pseuds/Tea_is_Not_Them
Summary: on laughed with a candour that wasn’t his, and a voice that belonged to him began to speak. Static poured from his lips, as his eyes changed colors like a shifting wheel, Jonathan Sims Knew that he was not real.
Series: He Never Existed Saga [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188941
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Behold What Does Not Exist

**Author's Note:**

> A second fanfic for the "He Never Existed" snippet series! I had this idea while having an identity crisis in the shower, so here we go. Beholding Jon!

Jonathan Sims did not exist. He never did. His life was a fabrication, a farce. Jon himself didn’t know this, not until he had started his working life in the Magnus Institute. The first time he went downstairs to the Archives, a sudden force bowled him over, keeling him unto his feet like spectral hands jabbing at his every bone and movement. A strange animalistic want surged through him, a sudden strike of knowledge that this was his place. 

  
  


He did not let that show, when a kind blond helped him up, looking at him with a strange face, asking if he was here to give a statement- since he had fallen over as if struck down by a force no one could see. Jon shook his head, he only gave a strange smile, and blinked a few times as if having to remember where he was. 

  
  


He got the statement that the upstairs wanted of him, and memories, words, years on thousands of years of knowledge crammed into his head as he handed the statement to Tim, languages that died many years ago suddenly were Known to him. He could sense and see every fear that overlaid this interworking of terror like a gold plated set table.. He laid his head down on his desk, and he stood up feigning a migraine, and when he got home he laughed. 

Jon laughed with a candour that wasn’t his, and a voice that belonged to him began to speak. Static poured from his lips, as his eyes changed colors like a shifting wheel, Jonathan Sims Knew that he was not real.

  
  


\-------

Sasha stared at the man who came from research, he had a curious air about him. Something pretentious and yet quiet. Jonathan Sims was a quiet man, and she remembered stories she had heard about him in Artifact Storage. Was a bit of a prick, had talked about ghosts being unreal, pushing away the supernatural as if he didn’t work for Paranormal Inc. Lite. She had heard a bit, until she didn’t. 

  
  


She heard whispers of Jon going quiet, sitting over his desk and doing his work, before he would take a statement and just seem to know when the statement was fatal. Something strange about the man. 

  
  


Still she was a bit annoyed that Jon got the job over her. She had worked with Gertrude sometimes, when she would lend the woman’s goth assistant leitners knowing she would never get them back, but she would smell smoke. With a sigh, she took the assistant position. Sasha wouldn’t push off a raise, she could use a bit more money anyway.

  
  


There was something off about him though. 

  
  


Jon saw Elias, and suddenly grew a bit strange, and Elias- when he thought no one was in the archives- would get some air about him. He looked… scared? Of Jon? Scared.

  
  


Sasha was not a woman to be thrown off the scent, she knew it wasn't a boss employee relationship, there was something a bit pitying in Jon's expression, when Sasha caught his eyes. As if he felt bad for the man who he regularly told to leave his archives be. She was curious though, and she knew when things were wrong, when things weren’t quite right, she had to find out. When something happened in the Storage she knew how to keep on her feet.

  
  


She walks to Jon’s office one day, and she notices something  _ wrong. _ It was cold in the room, and Jon’s shadow was larger than his, in a way it shouldn't. Instead of a head, an eye started from the man’s shadow, and Jon’s eyes glowed green, electric and toxic green. When Jon looked up from his statement, and she can see eyes staring at her from his mouth, there are eyes everywhere-

  
  


“Sasha? Are you alright?”

  
  


She darts out of the room, and grabs the attention of Tim and Martin, shaking them both. She hears footsteps and spins around, holding a screwdriver like a weapon, “That is not Jon.”

  
  


The man himself looks confused, and Sasha glares even harder, and the man sighs, “What gave it away? The eyes? I’ll admit that was probably a bit dramatic, but that wasn’t supposed to be how you found out.”

  
  


Sasha knows about the thing that rewrites the lives of its victims, and she knows this is not it. This is not the workings of an identity stealing creature, this was much worse. The man’s eyes glowed enough in the dim light of his office, but there was a faint scintillating gleam in these even in the fluorescent lights. The creature does not smile, simply watches them, and the intense feeling of being stalked overtook the assistants. 

  
  


With her hand up, the screwdriver pointed at Jonathan Sims, her eyes squinted, “Give him back.”

  
  


Jon stares, is it truly Jon thought? A strange haze went over the man, like he was made of colors no human eye could see, and then he simply cocks his head, “I’m afraid I can’t do that. Jonathan Sims never existed.”

  
  


Sasha jumps forward now, and stabs him with the screwdriver. Jon stares down at it and then raises a brow, and then speaks, “I’m sorry. That won't work on me.”

  
  


“What do you mean he never existed?” Sasha let go of the handle, not letting the shock of her coworkers overtake her.

  
  


Jon hums, “I suppose he did. I mean. It was always me. I am Jonathan Sims, but he is not me, and he is not real.”

  
  


“That makes no damn sense!” Tim said, and Jon groaned, this time sounded just like their exasperated boss. 

  
  


“It does to me, I am stating it in the right language, and it is a fact. I am the Beholding. It Knows You. The Ceaseless Watcher. Whatever name is used for me, that is what I am.” He stares, and takes the screwdriver from his chest, a hand rubbing the wound, and they can see through the small hole in his sweater there was a pupil staring and then it blinked, and closed. Jesus. “I am the Eye and the Eye is me. Jonathan Sims is just who I am, is me but not?”

  
  


His words start to confuse him, and the man shakes his head, the bun it was in came loose, and he stared. 

  
  


Martin is the next to speak, “So- what is the Beholding? What are you?”

  
  


Jon hums, still standing up straight, “I am fear. Or, at least, I am one of the fears that were created by humanities terror. The manifestation of a fear in your world, a small concentration of the Beholding. Since an apocalyptic ritual would not work, I am here to watch, instead of trying to overtake the world.” 

  
  


Tim looks at Jon, his eyes squinted, and his hands are grasped tight into fists, “So what- you’re an all knowing terror that has come to reign in this manky old dirt pile? What importance does this place have to you huh? Are you going to kill us?”

  
  


A spark of confusion went into the man’s eyes, “This place, built by Jonah Magnus is an epicenter of terror, you will find many things in statements, and many are true. The Archivist title is one made for a creature of the Beholding, and it seemed fitting that it was a title for the manifestation of itself. No need for someone else to bring me statements and organize them when I could just do it myself.”

  
  


“You really are talking like a dictionary got jumbled.” Sasha said, and then scowled, “You didn’t answer the last question.”

  
  


“Why would I want to kill you three?”

  
  


“Because you’re- like fear? You’re an evil fear entity, why wouldn’t you kill us? That seems kinda like what a fear monster does.” Martin said, and then covered his face. He wasn’t advocating to be killed, he would prefer to live honestly. 

  
  


Jon cocked his head in confusion, “I… Well. I’m not sure. It would be a waste for one, you three are very smart. And I would prefer to not kill? It isn't my nature, more of the Slaughter's, and it's not like I care to share the secrets. Knowing is the best tool. Then I think... I think I have grown fond of you three? I. I seem to like the company. You’ll have to excuse my failure to understand emotions I’ve only had for twenty seven years.”

  
  


“That's a long time to have emotions.” Tim says, almost cracking a smile, but his face did not budge into something friendly. "I think I've had mine a good twenty nine, and I know em pretty well."

  
  


“Not when I have been around for centuries, for as long as animals feared the Hunt, they also feared to be Watched. This is like a blip on the radar, for what I know.” Jon corrects him, “And… I do not think I am familiar with them anyway, even when I thought I was just Jonathan Sims. They are… Messy. Not easy to just Know. Not a fact. Feelings are subjective-”

  
  


Sasha sighs, raising a hand up, “Can it.”

  
  


“Ah. Ok.” Jon stops his ramble and watches them, “Do you wish to leave now? I will not begrudge you that. As long as I let you go Elias can’t be angry that you have left. He answers to me, not the other way around.”

  
  


“What do you mean?” Sasha leans in closer, curious now. Maybe that was why Jon and her had gotten along before this reveal, even when Sasha was a smidge paranoid. The Eye did favor her wit, and Jon noticed she was smart, quick. Deep in the eye that was supposed to be a heart, Jon thinks he liked these people even if he took away their tact, their brains. 

  
  


The man who wasn’t a man looked at them, “Your contracts bind you here. Working in the archives is not something people can normally quit, but since I am the Eye and therefore what you are bound to, I can allow you to leave. Elias wouldn’t be happy but I do not care for what he thinks, as he is more a spider than an eye. Not worth keeping around. He does not control me, nothing can but the Mother herself.” He shivered slightly, "Though I still do not care for spiders."

  
  


“That made no sense again. You act like we know everything you do, so you’ll have to explain it to us.” Tim says, and Jon blinks and has to think about it. 

  
  


“I will have to explain the fear entities to you then.” And he walked to the breakroom, expecting the others to follow. And they did. 

  
  



End file.
